While your partner may have some idea, it is much healthier to express your needs directly to avoid any confusion. Trying to exercise control over the other person in a relationship can come from a place of intense anxiety. Your spouse may demand that you give up your favorite hobby, for instance, or you may insist your partner stays away from a certain friend because you’re worried they’ll have an affair. Many couples focus on their relationship only when there are specific, unavoidable problems to overcome.
That’s how you keep a relationship strong and happy. Saying “I love you” carries much more weight when you consistently do things your partner values. Saying “I love you” is one of the most crucial things to do to make your relationship stronger. The following 4 key skills can help you build your EQ and improve your ability to manage emotions and connect with others.
Especially if you and your partner have been struggling or disconnected for awhile. The good news, however, is that small changes on a daily basis can help set your relationship on the right path. Changing the course of your relationship is within reach. Strengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in wherever you are. When couples work together toward mutual goals, they foster collaboration that strengthens their bond. Saving for a home or retirement, planning a vacation, or building a healthier lifestyle are all goals that can give you a sense of purpose and unity.
Try new activities, like cooking classes or hiking, to create shared experiences. Communicate openly and honestly, expressing your needs and appreciating your partner. Show affection regularly, both physically and verbally, to maintain intimacy. Support each other’s personal growth and goals, fostering a sense of teamwork. By communicating in this way, you’ll also experience a process that lowers stress and supports physical and emotional well-being. If the person you’re talking to is calm, for example, listening in an engaged way will help to calm you, too.
How to keep https://jolly-romance.com/ a relationship strong and happy doesn’t need to be a long, winding, complex process. If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, listening in an engaged way will often come naturally. The more you practice them, the more satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become. This is probably one of our favorite past times as a couple. I am a dreamer through and through; it’s in my blood. I loved dreaming of my future when I was single, but getting to dream with my husband takes it to a whole new level.
Being in tune with your emotions serves a social purpose, connecting you to other people and the world around you. Fighting fairly means that you maintain respect for one another and keep the focus on the issue, not on one another. When we feel upset, it can be hard to express ourselves without attacking our partner but this is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship. Gottman found that there are 4 behaviors that are destructive to love including criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling. Becoming critical (or contemptuous) of our partner when we are upset is not fighting fairly.
A partner may have a habit of keeping secrets from you or outright lying. They might lie about big things, such as covering up an affair or stealing money from you, or be deceitful in smaller ways, making it hard for you to trust them. Being emotionally open—even when it feels silly—fosters closeness and emotional safety. Even if the dreams change, the process of dreaming together keeps you close. You don’t need a promotion or anniversary to pop the champagne.
More In Emotional Intelligence
Do your inner work—heal your triggers, examine your patterns, and take accountability. A relationship thrives when both people are emotionally responsible adults. If you’re keeping tabs on every chore, favor, or sacrifice, you’re building a case, not a connection. It’s also a reminder that not everything has to be serious. Whether it’s “I need quiet time after work” or “We don’t insult each other during fights,” boundaries give your relationship structure and security.
And even if you do know what you need, talking about it can make you feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or even ashamed. But look at it from your partner’s point of view. Providing comfort and understanding to someone you love is a pleasure, not a burden. You keep outside relationships and interests alive. Despite the claims of romantic fiction or movies, no one person can meet all of your needs.
She has spent over a decade in the field and specializes in relationships, focusing on that complex point in which people’s lives intersect. Outside of her professional role, she is a military spouse and a parent of littles, so she is able to bring her personal experience into her professional role. All romantic relationships go through ups and downs and they all take work, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner. But whether your relationship is just starting out or you’ve been together for years, there are steps you can take to build and maintain a healthy relationship. To keep your relationship strong, prioritize quality time together.
Holding hands, hugging, or cuddling can help you feel connected and loved. These small actions release oxytocin, a hormone that strengthens bonds and builds trust. On the other hand, if you’re not feeling emotionally connected, physical affection might not come as easily. That’s why emotional and physical closeness go hand in hand—when one is strong, the other naturally follows.
This question isn’t just thoughtful—it’s proactive partnership in action. Learn to communicate your needs clearly instead of expecting mind reading or passive-aggressive sighs. That means using your words—actual words—not just dramatic huffs and door slams. It’s not your partner’s job to decipher your moods with zero context.
Our focus goes to the negative, to the things we wish were different. It takes work to actively shift our focus away from the negative to the positive but it is important work. Look back to the early stages of your relationship. If you expect to get what you want 100 percent of the time in a relationship, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Healthy relationships are built on compromise.
What’s more, people change, and what you needed and wanted five years ago, for example, may be very different now. So instead of letting resentment, misunderstanding, or anger grow when your partner continually gets it wrong, get in the habit of telling them exactly what you need. For most people, falling in love usually seems to just happen.
If you sign up for therapy after clicking through from this site, HelpGuide will earn a commission. This helps us continue our nonprofit mission and continue to be there as a free mental health resource for everyone. Marriage is successful when you can work as a unified team. You can’t expect your partner to be all of the things. One of the important tips on how to keep a relationship strong and happy is that we should never try to change our partner or expect them to become someone else. Set aside time each day to talk about the important things to each of you as individuals.
- Nonverbal cues, which include eye contact, tone of voice, posture, and gestures such as leaning forward, crossing your arms, or touching someone’s hand, communicate much more than words.
- Laughter is also a great way to help diffuse conflicts.
- Outside of her professional role, she is a military spouse and a parent of littles, so she is able to bring her personal experience into her professional role.
- And identifying and fixing a small problem in your relationship now can often help prevent it from growing into a much larger one down road.
Think of saying “we” before giving in to the temptation of casting blame on the other person. If you haven’t yet talked about how money is earned, spent, saved, and shared, do it now. Try to understand how each of you sees your financial life and where the differences are.
The 4 Key Skills To Emotional Intelligence:
It is only through this individual work that you and your partner will be able to have meaningful and connecting conversations and deepen intimacy. If you are having trouble taking care of yourself or feel stagnant in your own growth, seek the guidance of a professional to help you. For decades, studies have consistently shown that healthy communication is a predictor of future happiness in a relationship. Communicating in straightforward, intentional ways ensures partners feel safe when sharing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns openly. It also helps prevent misunderstandings, so resentments don’t start building. This is particularly important when navigating the common challenges of interracial relationships, where different cultural norms might add complexity to communication styles.
The tone of your voice, for example, should be different when you’re addressing a child than when you’re addressing a group of adults. Similarly, take into account the emotional state and cultural background of the person you’re interacting with. Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns.
That is why you’re in this relationship in the first place. Love is the main ingredient of the relationship recipe, and you should express it daily.
So much of our communication is transmitted by what we don’t say. Nonverbal cues, which include eye contact, tone of voice, posture, and gestures such as leaning forward, crossing your arms, or touching someone’s hand, communicate much more than words. Codependency is when one person centers their life and identity around pleasing or catering to their partner.